


We’ll Burn The World Down

by Poker



Series: Girl Genius Event Week 2019 [2]
Category: Girl Genius (Webcomic)
Genre: Becomes Very Real, Death Rays are important, Dress to kill, F/M, Fake Dating, Fluff, Humor, Very brief Tarvek cameo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 02:04:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20958659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poker/pseuds/Poker
Summary: Agatha heard girls die when they go on the palace of Sturmhalten and reaches for the first excuse to save herself.At least the Jägers are okay with fake dating.Or at least, it would be fake dating, if she could stop kissing them.





	We’ll Burn The World Down

**Author's Note:**

> Event Week Two
> 
> Write a rarepair ship!
> 
> This was originally Dimo/Agatha but I couldn’t leave the other boys out! So things at Sturmhalten go topsy turvy. 
> 
> I’m pretty sure I’m gonna write a sequel for this. :)

The messenger makes the offer and Agatha can’t breath.

_Girls who go back to his palace never come back/Spark girls are disappearing_

She had the awful feeling if she went there, she wouldn’t be coming back. Agatha didn’t like the feeling and she had no wonderful sublime tools to help her out-

“I can’t! It would be uncouth!” She blurted our. She flushed red hot as everyone turned to look at her. The messenger was clearly confused.

“Madame, the Prince will treat you well.” Oh she was sure he would. Like how he nearly shot them when she, ah, delivered her lines. Agatha fumbled for an excuse.

“I was, ah, hoping to spend some more time with my lover before their deployment.” And then blushed red hot again because oh no why did she have to say that. She couldn’t say Lars, Lars was nice but normal.

But everyone was scared of Jägers, the guards had rushed them along as soon as they saw Dimo. And, um, well she knew there were some people who found those types of men attractive. It was really a very logical gambit to make.

At least she couldn’t blush any redder, Agatha thought.

“Ah, deployed?” The messenger said. She really would have to apologize to Master Payne after this, he looked rather like someone had hit him with a hammer.

“Oh, um, between the play and the rather kind offer to rush them through, I was hoping to spend the night in their company. The Wastelands were so dreadfully scary, and they made me feel much safer.” Agatha said resolutely, drawing upon the same confidence she used to play Lucrezia. All of it was true, at least.

Men did have a way of capitulating to delicate little ladies, especially when they swooned about how scary something was. Agatha had noticed this in during her time as a secretary, she just never had much cause to use it.

And was Lars going to need assistance? He hadn’t stopped choking, and she wasn’t quite sure on what.

“I-I’m sure the Prince can make accommodations.” The messenger stammered before turning tail and fleeing. This would be the part where Agatha flushed innocently red, but her blush still hadn’t cooled down. Maybe she’d be this way forever. Or construct a clank for manual blood flow.

She stared after the messenger. “Well, at least I didn’t say no to the Prince?” Agatha said, weakly. You weren’t supposed to do that. She was pretty sure that was some kind of rule. The Countess laughed, gently tugging Agatha’s arm out of Lars’. Hopefully someone would give Lars a good thump on the back, the poor man sounded quite faint of breath.

“I suppose it was clever enough, but the Prince might insist.” The Countess said cooly. Oh yes, that was a part of the risk. “But really…”

Agatha eeped softly at the look in her eyes. What she wouldn’t give for a lovely sublime death ray right now, with clever little switches and an energy pulse that could go through a tree.

“All of them? One seems a bit much for a girl to handle, let alone three.” The Countess said, a sly smile playing on her lips.

Oh. She could flush harder.

Agatha replayed the conversation in her head, surely she meant- oh. She had been rather unspecific. Oh dear. She hadn’t wanted to be rude and specify one, in case they took offense to her little trick.

“They’re still in town then?” Agatha asked quietly. She should probably talk to them and clear everything up. The smirk on the Countess did little to reassure her.

“The outpost near our caravan. They should still be there. You should always discuss things with your lovers. Poor form making all the decisions in the relationship.” Agatha buried her head in her hands, wishing she was not having this conversation.

“Okay, I’ll do that.” She probably should before someone else told them. Agatha was hoping this would put the Prince off, but Sparks, really.

Well, she was a Spark too. But Agatha was pretty sure that made her more qualified to know this.

Agatha paused as a hand rested on her shoulder, looking up. The Countess looked serious now. “You aren’t the first to bring company with you. Better company than most, but the rest didn’t come out either.”

Great. Confirmation that she was dragging the Jägers into her mess. “I’ll prepare.” Agatha said because what else could she say?

Everything and everyone in this world seemed to want something from her and she didn’t even know what she was ready to give at this point.

The Countess was right, the outpost really was close to their camp. Agatha had a brief flash of worry before the lack of any guards registered. Likely no one wanted to stick around the Jägers, ‘wild’ or not.

Agatha felt anger well up in her. How dare they judge her Jägers? They were far better than anything this pathetic city could scrounge up. Well, if she had even half the parts on her list, _she’d burn this place to the ground for daring to even look at her Jägers wrong_. Honestly, the nerve of them-

Ah. Agatha coughed delicately. Sweet frail girl who needs a big handsome soldier to comfort her. She should do that. Agatha decided to let herself in, instead of knocking. It would look odd for her to knock if she, um, knew the Jägers. 

And immediately regretted that decision because oh lord those were bare chests there. Rather well muscled too. Erk.

Apparently this outpost had only one room and Da Boyz had decided to change back out of the uniforms. Dimo rolled his eyes, slipping his knives back somewhere as Maxim and Oggie blinked at her in confusion.

Agatha opened her mouth, to apologize or panic, she wasn’t quite sure yet. But what came out was very different.

“I may have told the Prince that I was dating you. We might be invited to dinner. Where someone will try to kill us.” Agatha finished rather quickly. Well. At least they knew now?

“Vell dat breaks the record, Hy tink.” Maxim said, shrugging his shirt back on. Good, because Agatha was about to prove humans could spontaneously combust. They were odd looking, but lord, those muscles.

“Ho no, Hy tink Lord Ferris wins dat. He had eet in thirty minutes.” Dimo countered. Agatha looked between them, deeply concerned.

She had been expecting anger or embarrassment, but the Jägers were almost casual about her declaration. “What record?” Agatha asked, feeling a little faint. She’d probably need to change soon, this dress was heavy and hot even against the cool air outside.

“Ho dat vould be de how long till de Heterodyne makes dem mad.” Oggie said cheerily. “Hyu came preety cloze!” He pulled his vest on but left it unbuttoned. “Zo, who are hyu datink?”

Oh. Well. Um. Not everything yet. “All of you, possibly? I was a bit vague and, um, I’m afraid they assumed I needed rather a lot of comfort on the road.” Agatha said. As if, she had her death ray. She could take on quite a few things all by herself.

For a second none of them looked like they knew what she was saying, before Maxim’s face brightened. “Oh! Zo you made dem tink hyu vas datink all ov us? Ho, dat might break de record.”

It was too late. Agatha was just going to blow up everything. That was the only way to fix her problem.

“I, just. Look. I don’t know if that’s going to stop him. I just need to know if one of you is willing to play along. And by willing, I mean if the only reason you’re doing it is because I’m the possible Heterodyne, _I’m going to make you eat your hat._” Agatha rushes out. She didn’t want to command them to play like little pets.

Oh lord, she had said she was dating them. This was going to be a hard sell to them.

Maxim tilted his head looking like a kicked puppy as he slipped closer, and oh, could he please finish putting on his shirt? “Iz not nice to leave de odder boyfriendz in the cold.” He teased in a husky voice that made her stomach feel just a little swoopy.

“Ve could fight for her honor!” Oggie offered, looking delighted by the prospect. That would be even worse! Agatha didn’t want them hurting each other!

“No! I just thought it’d be easier for one of you to agree, then all of you.” If Dimo didn’t stop laughing, Agatha was going to kick him.

“Ho vell, Then it should be all ov uz.” Dimo said. He finished adjusting his shirt, but didn’t even bother hiding his too wide smile. “If hyu tink hyu need uz, then hyu should bring all ov uz.”

Agatha was about to argue that, point out that if she had a nice practical weapon, they didn’t have to go into danger.

But then she noticed all of them looked practically desperate. Except for Maxim who had his face turned away, focusing on fixing his shirt.

Oh.

Bill and Barry hadn’t taken any Jägers with them before they left did they? They were probably worried they’d lose her.

“Okay.” Agatha said, feeling a little faint. “But if I find out you’re uncomfortable with this, I really will wreak vengeance upon you.” She could and most definitely would. Nobody would be debasing themselves for her mistake, especially not the Jägers who had been trying to help her.

“Vell, now ve haff a fancy party to go to. Ho vell, hy just keep my clothes. Alreddy in ‘em.” Dimo said. Agatha nodded, feeling a little awkward again. Should she go sit outside? None of them looked very uncomfortable.

“Speakin ov dat, hyu should probably change.” Maxim said. He waved a hand at her costume. “Verry preddy, But hard to run in.” And they were probably going to have to run.

Agatha coughed, smoothing her skirt. “If you’re all okay with this. I’ll keep you updated if he does decide to invite us.” She turned, slipping back out the door. Hopefully the Countess would have something more practical to wear.

“Aw, But she looked gud in dat dress.” Oggie whined, just before the door closed. Agatha buried her head in her hands. 

This was going to be a disaster, and she wasn’t quite sure for who yet.

* * *

Agatha really wished she could take her hair down.

She usually wore it up very loosely, and was honestly unsure about the fancy hairstyle the Countess did. “It’s the fashion of the court, now stop messing with it before I have to redo it.” The Countess chided, pinning the last fold into place.

Maybe she should just build a fashion clank. And then tell it that no fancy hairstyles were proper for the labs.

“Ho! Vell, looks like hy missed all de fun stuff.” Maxim swept through the curtain with a wink. Agatha went pink, all words about fashion going out of her mind. She really didn’t want to be reminded of her earlier mistake. The Countess swatted at him.

“It’s bad luck to be seeing a lady before the date.” She scolded. Maxim waved her off, offering an arm as Agatha hopped off the stool The a Countess had her using.

“Not in Mechanicsburg! Verry impolite not to say hello.” Maxim said. Oh! So that was how things were done in Mechanicsburg? Did they have any other traditions she should know about?

Except that they weren’t actually dating. And therefore performing those traditions would be a little odd. Yes, there was that.

“Did you need anything? The messenger hasn’t come yet.” And the one telling the Jägers to leave hadn’t come yet either. Agatha’s heart swooped as Maxim leaned in, his face only inches from hers.

“I can see when I’m not wanted.” The Countess said and there was the familiar sound of fabric rippling. Agatha was frozen stock still to the spot. He actually smelled nice, the scent of blood she expected was old and coppery, and outweighed by woodsmoke and pine.

“Dimo vanted me to bring hyu de fun stuff.” Maxim said cheerily. Agatha glanced down. In his head were three beautiful, deceptively slim knives, and best of all, her smallest death ray.

“Oh, you are amazing.” Agatha breathed. Her small death ray fit into her hand perfectly when she picked it up. “But I don’t think they’ll let me in carrying weapons.” Otherwise, there’d be less girls missing.

Maxim waved a hand, thankfully not the one holding the knives. “Dat is vhat hy’m here for. Ve’ll get you all nize and fragile lookink.” Maxim said. 

The room was quiet for a while, Agatha losing herself in her thoughts.

“So is there a tradition in Mechanicsburg?” Agatha asked. Maxim didn’t glance up from where he was adjusting her sleeve to cover the sheath along her forearm. His fingers were surprisingly cool against her skin “Saying hello before the date?”

“Ho, vell yez. Sayink hello iz mostly for de parents though.” Maxim said. Agatha stifled a giggle, nearly jerking her hand out of Maxim’s grip.

“I can see why it would be a bad thing to turn up after three dates. Surprise! He’s a Jäger!” Adam and Lilith would have done the thing, where they looked at her and she felt guilty for saying nothing.

Maxim snorted, his fingertips dragging along her skin as he finished placing the sleeve. He did a surprisingly good job. Agatha couldn’t see a hint of the knives under her sleeves, the death ray on her hip, or the third knife at the small of her back. “Great job.” She said.

“Hyu pick up zum trickz. Jenka iz much better.” Maxim said dismissively. Oh, Diplomatic Corps must be much different then she had assumed before. 

“Well, Jenka wasn’t working on me, was she?” Agatha said. Oh. Maxim could blush, his cheeks turning a darker shade of purple as he coughed. “I suppose you have many more hidden on you.” 

She couldn’t even see a hint. It was quite incredible. The clank glove must be useful in battle, but she itched to repair it, to make something better. It wouldn’t even be hard, just a modification here, a smoother orientation of the gears there. Maybe even a death ray.

“De glove can vait.” Maxim said, dragging her back to reality. He was looking away, not meeting her eyes. “And yez, Verry many. Dimo iz de best, all de liddle knives. But Oggie can hide dat halberd ov hiz. Hy haff my sword vith me, ov courze und a few odders, just in caze.”

Agatha goggled at the thought. She had seen Oggie’s weapon and it was not something to be tucked up a sleeve. Unless it had camouflage but that was another matter entirely. 

She glanced up at the sound of footsteps outside. The Countess and Zeetha would call out, to embarrass her.

Reflexively, Agatha snagged Maxim’s collar and pulled his head down then pressed her lips against his.

Maxim stiffened at the move, a growl rising in his chest but it melted away seconds later, his hands coming up to rest on her waist. It was gentler than she expected, only the softest hint of teeth. Exciting almost. It made her feel like someone had replaced her blood with molten lava.

“Miss Agatha- Oh! I’m very sorry for the interruption.” Agatha was very glad kissing Maxim muffled his laughter. She pulled back, but Maxim was still warm. Not disgusted. “The Prince is willing to agree to their presence as well.”

Agatha widened her eyes, pressing herself against Maxim’s chest. “Oh thank you! I feel so much safer with them.” Maxim started coughing but Agatha could practically hear the laughter. 

“Ho yez. Ve keep her verry safe.” He was probably insinuating something lewd. Agatha rested her head against his side, refusing to look. 

“I will bring your thanks back to him.” The messenger said, impressively stoic. Judging by the peals of laughter when he fled, Agatha was going to get an earful from Zeetha. Another conversation to look forward to.

“Zo, kissink iz on de table.” Maxim said. His voice still had an edge of laughter to it. Agatha groaned, pulling her face away.

“I wanted to make it very obvious that I can’t be separated from my beaus.” She hesitated. “I’m really sorry about not asking first.” 

Agatha was definitely the worst Heterodyne ever.

Maxim really did laugh now, patting her head. “Vell, Hy’m never going to argue against kissink.” He teased. “Hy can help teach hyu. Lotz of experrienze, we Jägers haff.”

Agatha squeaked. “Maybe later? We need to round up Dimo and Oggie.” Kissing. Kissing Maxim. Her face flames at the thought.

“Maybe later den.” Maxim said with a sigh. He sauntered out of the tent, all smooth wolfish grace. “Vas nize seeink hyu.”

“Nice seeing you too.” Agatha said. Three knives, a death ray, and three Jägers. She was starting to feel a lot more confident about her chances.

Agatha felt a lot less confident when she walked straight out into Zeetha. Zeetha leaned against the wagon, smile absolutely wicked. “Having fun in there?” She asked. Agatha resisted the urge to bury her head in her hands or pull out her death ray to fiddle with it.

“It was a good way to distract them.” Agatha protested. Zeetha raised an eyebrow.

“Distract you? Or the messenger?” Zeetha said. Okay, maybe it was a tiny bit distracting to Agatha too but it took care of the messenger nicely. “I’m disappointed, I thought you’d tell me everything. And to be frightened of the Wastelands? We’ll have to increase your training.”

“Please don’t.” Agatha moaned. Her arms still ached in memory of training. It was absolutely terrible. She should build a training clank. Or a clank like Gil’s to keep Zeetha distracted.

“Ve frighten everything though.” A heavy weight settled on her shoulders. Dimo gave her outfit a once over and nodded. “Hyu look nize. Maxim deed a gud job.”

“He really did.” Agatha said, slightly relieved to step out of Zeetha’s conversation. Less relieved by the look Zeetha was giving the two of them.

Dimo tapped his claws against her shoulder, looking distant. “Wear dis.” He had his jacket shrugged off and draped over her shoulders before she could even react.

It was heavy and warm and smelled exactly like Dimo. Agatha clutched at the collar flabbergasted. Zeetha was laughing somewhere in the background but Agatha couldn’t bring herself to care. “But this is your coat. I can’t just take it.” Agatha insisted.

“Gurlfriends borrow tings from their lovers, right? Hyu look gud in it. Confuzes scent houndz too.” Dimo said. Very practical. Agatha snuck a look at those arms. Very impressive too.

“If it’s okay with you.” She amended. Dimo rolled his eyes, looking exasperated. 

“But hy’ve alreddy said zo.” He grumped. Thankfully, he steered away from the laughing Zeetha. Maxim gave her a look when Dimo brought her over. Oh, she really wanted to fiddle with her tools right now, Agatha felt a bit awkward standing like this. She pulled herself up straight though. Lilith has always talked to her about meeting every situation with proper manners.

“Hyu look nize, Mizz Agatha!” Oggie said cheerily. “Hy liked dat outfit hyu had before though. Verry proper outfit.” 

“It was surprisingly nice, if impractical.” Agatha admitted. Maybe she could look into something similar but more practical. 

Surrounded by her Jägers, Agatha felt like she could survive anything the Prince has to throw at her.

* * *

Agatha couldn’t _control her own voice._

It had been going well so far. Originally Agatha had been directed away from the boys, but she had stubbornly dropped into a chair right next to Oggie and refused to move. Eventually, they had given up, the younger prince looking awkward.

The food really was good and Agatha had been about to offer a compliment on it when, “Oh I met the Baron on Castle Wulfenbach!” slipped out instead.

Oh. The food was drugged. Her head kind of felt like someone was pouring thick wool into it, smothering her rising panic.

A hand- Oggie. It was Oggie- clamped over her mouth, yanking her out of her chair before she could say more. He was growling, a rumbling seesaw from deep in his chest.

“Get her out!” Dimo roared, and Agatha would feel panicked if she could. Everything seemed to come in flashes, the cold steel of Dimo’s knives, Oggie’s warmth against her back, the snap of Maxim’s cape.

Then everything fuzzed out again.

When she came back to herself, she was lying on the floor. For a moment, Agatha thought she was back at the circus. Looking closer, she had been covered with some kind of fuzzy carpet from where she slept in what seemed to be a… parlor?

Definitely not the circus. But she had no clue how long she was out.

Then there was Oggie’s whoop and a clash of steel from outside the door. Oh. Not long then. Agatha reached for her hip, fishing out her gun as she shook off the rug and stood. Oggie must have covered her up and placed her here for safety while she slept.

There was something pinging her brain as she shivered in the cold air. Something that said danger.

Why would Oggie leave the window open?

Agatha brought the gun up and fired on reflex. The person falls just in front of her, nearly dragging her to the floor too.

Red fire, did she just kill someone?

Agatha kneels, checks the pulse. It was faint, but steady. She didn’t see any blood either. Agatha breathes a sigh of relief. The death ray hadn’t cycled fully, it probably felt like getting kicked by a mule, but they weren’t dead.

She shivered. Dimo’s coat was warm, but this dress was such a thin outfit. Agatha could feel the chill of the room.

Agath paused, not quite standing up yet. The person looked near enough to her size and had a nice thick woolen outfit. And a bag of tools from the look of it, climbing tools mostly.

Yes, tools and base materials and other lovely things she could use to build such wonderful clanks or a new gun.

Focus, Agatha reminded herself. Get dressed and find the Jägers.

She got dressed quickly, stuffing the dress and the attacker’s jacket in the bag. Agatha even draped the rug over the guard so they wouldn’t freeze to death.

The clothes were a bit tight in some areas and loose in others, but they fit. Agatha quickly fixed her hair into a loose bun, and slipped the guard’s cap on. Good. Now she’d look like a palace servant from the distance.

The door banged open and Agatha jumped, leveling her gun at the intruder. “Ho! Hyu’re avake! Nize new clothes.” Oggie said. He was speckled with blood but luckily none of it seemed to be his.

“I took them off of that guy.” Oggie followed her wave and growled. Agatha shivered involuntarily, remembering how that growl felt against her back.

“Sorry, Hy thought hy got dem all. Hyu von hyu first hat though!” Oggie said cheerfully. He easily picked her up and spun her around.

“Thanks.” Agatha said, a little breathlessly as he set her back down. “We should probably leave though.”

Oggie shrugged, an easy movement. “Pipple are comink. Vhy Hy came in.” If Agatha was any less of a lady, she’d use some swears that would have Lilith punishing her with scrubbing the entire machine shop. “Hoy, dun vorry. Iz just servants.”

Servants who probably had guns and they had absolutely no cover in this room. Agatha would have to distract them somehow, to get in a good shot.

Oh red fire, she’d have to do it again.

“Sorry in advance.” Agatha whispered. Oggie glanced down and Agatha reached up and snagged his horn, gently pulling his head closer to hers.

Kissing Oggie was different than kissing Maxim. He was nippier for one, gently teasing at her bottom lip. It made her vision go a little sparky, always just on the edge of drawing blood. She should nip back and see how he liked it.

Then the door opened and there was a choked sound. Agatha didn’t let them finish, firing as soon as the door opened. A low thump told her that her aim was true.

She pulled back from the kiss, releasing her hold on Oggie’s horn. For his part, Oggie only looked slightly dazed. “Like I said, sorry in advance.” Agatha said.

“Ho, dun apologize for dat! Vas gud.” Oggie said, shaking his head like he was clearing away fog. His accent was thicker now. Agatha pinked, checking the door. Luckily only one person, and they weren’t dead either. “Ve shuld do dat again.”

“I think we should find Dimo and Maxim. And- oh! Communications!” Agatha said. That would be perfect! 

She’d blow her cover completely, but there was something going on here, and it was about time the Baron knew.

“H’okay.” Oggie said. And Maxim was right, it was like he had suddenly produced a halberd from nowhere.

Most places had some kind of comms relay and luckily, Agatha had seen a lot of architectural plans. The month she had spent sorting the Cartographer’s Society library was finally coming in handy.

“Guard the door, I’ll need a few minutes.” Agatha breezed over to the equipment while Oggie settled against the doorframe. Ah lucky, it was a crystalligram system, Agatha was good with those. Just a bit of rewiring here and ah, the knife Maxim gave her was perfectly sized for a screwdriver.

GIRLS GO MISSING IN THE CASTLE STOP. ANY SPARKS STOP. HE POISONED A GUEST STOP. THE OLDER PRINCE IS DOING THIS STOP. PLEASE INVESTIGATE STOP.

-CODE 4112 TARSUS BEETLE

That would probably get his attention. But they needed to leave fast. 

“Hoy, Dimo!” Oggie yelled. Agatha nearly jumped out of her skin, putting the knife back in its sheath. Good thing she didn’t cut herself. 

She picked her gun up and headed for the door. Dimo looked whole, which was good, if surprisingly small without his coat.

“Ve haff to split up.” He said. “Dey haff ghost ladiez here. Maxim’s gonna blow de church for a deestraction.”

“Jah, jah, hy go pull him out.” Oggie said, waving a hand. “Hyu get Mizz Agatha out.”

“I’m not going to leave you a hostile castle and apparently one that’s going to explode now!” Agatha insisted. If she couldn’t keep an eye on them, how did she know they’d come out of this okay?

“Dun’t vorry, hy’ll come back for kissink.” Oggie said with a wink, before disappearing down the hallway. Dimo blocked her way when she made to go after him.

“Eet vill be eazier on all ov us to get hyu out furst. Oggie has de thick skin, Maxim’s wily. Hyu not safe.” Dimo said levelly. And the worst part of it, he was right. And that made Agatha feel helplessly angry, that she was just so useless here.

Dimo’s warm hand rested on her shoulder. “Hyu can fix dem after. Hyu can’t fix now. Und Ve dun blame hyu.” If she didn’t live, Mechanicsburg would be closed for ever and she’d never be able to properly patch everything up.

“How do you propose we get out then? They probably have this place locked down by now.” Agatha said. The lightning moat she saw wasn’t up yet, but there were going to be heavy guards either way.

“Hy’ll carry hyu. Hyu too slow. No offenze.” Dimo offered. Agatha couldn’t blame him, she’d seen how fast the Jägers could move. “Nize hat.”

“I stunned a guy for it.” Agatha said, feeling surprisingly less silly when he gave her that familiar inhuman grin.

It took a few moments for her to get settled on his back and then he was loping down the corridor. Tapestries blurred past them, and if Agatha ever had to see this place again, she was going to burn it down.

She could probably convince Mechanicsburg to let her. Except the Baron would get angry and ah, so many things had to be complicated.

“Fuck.” Dimo said and that was her only warning before he leapt, hopping over a wire trap. Sniper here. Not on her watch. It was the work of a moment to raise the gun and fire, and they past before the person could even fall.

“Nize shot.” Dimo said. He sped up. “Keep doink dat and dis’ll be a lot eazier.”

It was worse out on the bridge and if Agatha got through this, then she was going to invent a multishot gun. Just shoot everyone except her Jägers.

At least none of the royal family had made an appearance. And the tide turned rather quickly when the ground shuddered, what sounded like a localized eruption in the distance. The church had most definitely been destroyed. Good, that took the edge off of her homicidal urges.

She’d feel a lot better if Maxim and Oggie were here too.

The town proper was eerily quiet. Dimo didn’t even bother with the gates, he sped up and bounded straight up the wall, cramming Agatha’s heart in her throat. Right as they were about to fall back, he caught the edge and pulled them up and over.

They landed on the ground outside and that was it. They were clear. 

Agatha had never been more happy to see snow and bare ground.

“I was hoping to shoot more people.” Agatha said, resting her head on his shoulder. Dimo rumbled, moving through the snow quickly.

“Hyu vill haff de army after hyu become Lady. Can come back and do it again.” Dimo offered. That was a very tempting thought. Probably too tempting.

“I already have, and I did it with three boyfriends apparently.” Agatha said. Was this what shock felt like? She kind of wanted to keep building and never stop, block it all out.

Dimo was quiet. “Look, hyu dun haff to go along vith dem.” He said. “Hy’ll haff a talk vith dem, tell em to be nize.” Agatha blinked, confused.

“Do you mean the kissing?” And squirmed because she really wanted to be on her own two feet for this conversation. Dimo paused, allowing Agatha to slip off his back. She didn’t place her death ray back in its holster yet, keeping an eye out around them.

“Yez, eet iz about de kissink.” Thicker accent, Agatha noted. Dimo rubbed a hand through his hair, nearly dislodging his hat. “Hy know hyu dun like dat.”

“I kissed them though. Not the other way around. And I think I liked it. ” Agatha said, blinking. “Should I kiss you too to prove it?” She hopped on her tiptoes, pressing a kiss against Dimo’s mouth. 

He was shyer than his brothers, more reserved. A tongue traced her lips, making Agatha shiver and lean in. His hand settled on her back, pulling her closer.

Too soon, they broke apart. Dimo’s eyes and mouth seemed to glow in the dark.

So. She might still be a little uninhibited. Oh well. That was nice. “See? Kissing is great.” Agatha wouldn’t actually mind making it a regular thing.

“Ve should probably haff de odders here for dat talk.” Dimo said, not disagreeing. They crunched through the snow. “It vas a verry good kiss though.” That made Agatha feel a little warm.

“You should take your coat back though.” Agatha said, gently pulling it off. Dimo eyed her, but accepted when she pulled her stolen jacket out of the bag. Good, now she wouldn’t have to worry about him freezing.

They made it through finding a comfortable cave, though Dimo had to chase out a few sparkling spiders. The dead ones even had enough sparks left to dry some wood and make a fire.

Agatha was just pulling apart a winch when the howl echoed through camp.

“Hallo, brodder!” Maxim yelled as he burst in. He was covered in soot and ash, smiling like a maniac. “Hy made de church go boom.”

“It vas a big one.” Oggie agreed. He threw himself down next to the fire, next to Agatha. “Iz gud to see hyu guyz.”

“Good to see you too! I’m glad you’re safe. We can probably stay here tonight and try to catch the circus when they leave, hopefully.” Then she could have all her death rays back and hopefully her little clanks.

“Soundz like a plan.” Dimo said. He leaned against the cave wall. Watching her. 

Oh. She had an idea of what he wanted. Agatha squirmed a little. “We should probably talk about the romance thing though.” It’s not like it was bad kissing! She would even be a little happy to do it outside of faking. Agatha felt her face go red.

“Vell, dat vas vun Hell ov a furst date.” Oggie said. Agatha peeked at him over her collar. He smiled back. “Verry romantic.”

“It kind of was.” Agatha admitted. Last time she had a date, it had been over Wasps and Gil wanted to marry her after that, so she didn’t exactly have an idea what dates were supposed to be like. But this seemed like a good one.

“Zo, vhat are ve talkink about?” Maxim said. His eyes were dark. “Are we doing de ‘dun talk about it’ ting or de ‘vhatever happenz in Sturmhalten stayz in Sturmhalten’?”

It shouldn’t surprise Agatha they were already thinking about this. Jägers seemed pretty casual about romance, several times after a fight she had watched one of them drag the others into the forest and come out sufficiently more rumpled than when they had gone in.

Dimo still wasn’t saying anything.

“The possibly doing it again part?” Agatha said, fiddling with the winch in her hands before sliding it back into the bag. “If you guys wanted. And this isn’t a Heterodyne thing, I will toss your hats on the fire right now if you agree because of the Heterodyne thing.”

It’s not like the kissing was bad! And the Jägers were pretty easy on the eyes, she liked Oggie’s laugh, the way Dimo was so careful about everyone’s safety, Maxim’s fanciful streak. She liked everything about them.

It was just kind of a love thing now. And she was curious to see where it went.

“Hy’m okay vith dat.” Oggie said. “Hyu are verry pretty And verry scary. Hy like that.” His smile was warm when Agatha peeked at him again. 

“Ho, Hy neffer argue vith a pretty lady.” Maxim said, winking at her. “Und Ve get to do the kissink ting again. Effen better.” Agatha felt herself relax a little.

Dimo didn’t reply for what felt like an eternity. Maxim rolled his eyes, stretching his clank arm out to whack Dimo’s side. Dimo growled, swiping out with his claws and making Maxim laugh. He sat up, meeting her eyes across the fire.

“Do hyu tink hyu can handle three Jägers?” He asked. Agatha narrowed her eyes.

“Do you think you can handle me?” She challenged. Dimo blinked before chuckling, shaking his head.

“Dis is gonna be de best kind ov fun.” He said. Agatha found herself agreeing with the sentiment. “Hy suppoze dat settled it. Hy’ll take furst vatch. More kissink can come later.” 

Oggie whooped and Agatha yelped as she found herself being dragged into his lap. He was surprisingly warm and dry for having been running around in the snow.

He grinned down at her. “Varmer to sleep in a pile. Ve alvays do dis.” He said. Maxim draped himself across her lap, using her as a pillow. 

It was surprisingly warm like this, pressed against Oggie and Maxim in her lap. Agatha glanced across the fire to where Dimo was leaning against the cave wall. “Actually wake your brothers up for watch, don’t stay up all night or I’ll dump you in a snowbank.”

Dimo rolled his eyes, blowing her a kiss. After a moment, she blew one back, pressed one to the crown of Maxim’s head, and even twisted to peck Oggie on the cheek. They all deserved it, even if it got angry mumbles from Maxim about his pillow moving.

Agatha leaned back, closing her eyes. Tomorrow would be a busy day. Finding the circus, dodging the Baron, and finishing their travel. But that could be later.

(Even if later was angrily mumbling in her sleep as she was lifted out of Oggie’s lap and into Dimo’s so Oggie could take the next watch. Or Maxim carefully swapping places with Oggie for his watch so they didn’t wake her up. And for once, no nightmares plagued her sleep. Agatha could get used to this romance thing).


End file.
